Family Caregivers La Costa CA: Tips on How to Resolve Conflicts With The Senior Care Plan

Being a family caregiver for elderly adults is rarely an easy prospect, but the role can be made even more challenging by conflicts that arise in the family over issues involving the senior care plan. If you have siblings, you may have hoped you would all band together to care for your parents, sharing in the time, expense, effort, and stress of the care and giving your parents the joy of spending time with all of their children. As you got further into actually providing this care, however, you may have found that your siblings, and other members of your family such as aunts and uncles, cousins, and even grandchildren, are a major source of stress that make providing care even more challenging.

Conflict and tension within families is common and becomes even more common when stressful situations arise. Realizing that beloved members of the family have become elderly and are in need of care is something that every person responds to differently, which often increases the sensitivity and tension among members of the family. Even longstanding stains in relationships that date back to childhood, such as sibling rivalries or distant relationships with cousins, can lead to conflict and turmoil as you try to create a senior care plan that addresses your parents’ needs and helps them live the quality of life they deserve.

Facing conflicts with your family should not be a hindrance to you giving your parents the best level of care. Handling these conflicts and keeping them from harming your parents is an important element of being a caregiver.

Let these tips guide you through resolving conflicts and preventing issues from causing problems for your elderly parents:

• Release childhood hurts. You may dislike having your siblings around because you start feeling competitive, jealous, and powerless again, but if your siblings want to be a part of your parents’ care, it is important that you put aside your personal issues and let them divide the responsibilities with you. Make the conscious decision to leave these hurts in the past and restructure your relationships now that you are an adult
• Talk things through. This may seem like the simplest of approaches, but many tensions and conflicts worsen because people refuse to take the time to talk them through. When you notice conflicts happening, insist that everyone involved sits down and has a clear, calm, and adult conversation. Give everyone the opportunity to talk through their feelings and their perspectives so you all understand where each person is coming from and are able to better work through issues as they arise. This is also the perfect opportunity to evaluate the actual desire of each person to be a part of the care plan
• Do not force involvement. Remind yourself frequently that your family members have their own way of internalizing what is happening with your parents. Though you may feel like your siblings should step up as much as you have, they simply might not have the emotional availability or willingness to do as much as you have. Be willing to accept whatever type of help they can give, whether it is money to pay your parents’ bills, a commitment to handle the grocery runs throughout the week, or bi-weekly phone calls. Work this help into your care plan and relieve yourself of the stress of trying to force further help
• Make written plans. Clarity is essential when you share caregiver responsibilities with other family members. Ensure everyone is completely clear on their role in the care plan as well as everyone else’s tasks by writing these plans out. Distribute calendars, write out agreements, and make lists so everyone feels confident in the balance within the care plan
• Pool resources. For many families, the simplest way to settle conflicts and make everyone happy is to name a primary caregiver and let the others simply pool their resources to provide for the care. As the primary caregiver you can then use the financial support for the other family members to hire a home care provider who can fill any gaps in the care you are able to provide. With this relationship the other members of the family must agree not to interfere with the decisions you make.

For more information about how the caregivers at La Jolla Nurses Homecare can help your aging parents remain in their own homes, call 858-454-9339. We are a home care agency providing quality and affordable senior care in La Costa, CA, and the surrounding communities.

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Brittnei Salerno

Owner at La Jolla Nurses Homecare

“My mother, Lorraine Salerno, founded La Jolla Nurses Homecare in 1977.

Today we are the oldest and most experienced private duty agency in San Diego County.She saw a need for quality private duty home health care and she worked diligently to build an agency that filled that need.I am proud to say, her vision is carried on today with our dedicated staff.

I believe our tenure in the community speaks well for us.We have had the opportunity to be of service to countless interesting individuals, including local and worldwide celebrities.It is the people we care for that makes this a fascinating industry.Whether high profile or a more ordinary citizen, we are proud that thousands have entrusted us with their care or the care of their loved ones.Our Mission is to provide high quality, very secure and the most compassionate home health care.We believe that patients heal faster and are happiest when they can stay in their homes.”

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